You ask an employee to make a change. The employee becomes defensive. You announce a coming reorganization. Rumors spread before the meeting even ends. You introduce a new process. The team pushes back immediately. We often interpret these moments as resistance, lack of commitment, or negativity. But, really, it’s just a natural threat response. A threat? A lot of us think of threats as physical dangers (oncoming traffic, creepy shadow in the corner, a bear approachin

When I left acting a hundred years ago, I went to coaching school. And the skills I learned there turned out to be incredibly valuable, not just for my coaching practice, but for leading others in general. Getting my International Coaching Federation (ICF) certification was incredibly powerful for me because it took so many tools I was already using - both as a leader and as a trainer - and put names to them, making it easier for me to teach them to others. Now you, in one

People resist change for many understandable reasons, all of which create stress. Even positive change can create stress and anxiety. (Think about graduating from school, getting married, or starting a new opportunity.) Here are eight common reasons people resist change and what you can do about the stress they cause you when you face them. 1) Lack of Control Feeling in control gives us a sense of safety and stability. It helps us believe we can manage outcomes, avoid harm,

Your mindset is all about how you see and approach the world (and work, and your team, and your business challenges). There are all kinds of predefined mindsets you can have - fixed, growth, owner, rescuer, whatever - and they all impact what information you seek (and see), and how you interpret it. Done well, it's your greatest asset. But if you're not aware of and in control of your mindset, you're at the mercy of your daily emotions and reactions. And that's not strat

As I mentioned in my recent newsletter (which you are welcome to sign up for here ), many people take time in December to reflect and prepare for the coming new year. Others are crunched with year-end requests, closing the books, or preparing for the onslaught of family visits. Whether you reflect in December or some other time of the year doesn't really make a difference - what matters is that you take the time to look back and find patterns, habits, and, ideally, motivat

The other day, I did some momming worthy of the Golden Globe for Best Parenting in a Comedy Series. My daughter had done something kind of stupid and impulsive and was mortified by her own behavior. My husband and I agreed that punishing her for what she did would just compound her embarrassment and shame, and so we decided to help her process her feelings instead. (And, of course, there was no screen time.) In that moment of parenting, I was intensely focused on the prese

You may have heard a lot about having a growth mindset recently. It's good for business! It's good for parenting! It's good for...

I'd like to get this question a lot more than I do. Because if I did, I'd be able to tell people what happens in a coaching session, how...

On my daughter's eighth birthday this summer, I had a revelation. I was chatting with a fellow mom about all the memories we...

I'm guessing you can relate. It's summer, and my kids are on vacation. They think I'm on vacation, too, and abandoning the computer is...

Though the title feels less than compassionate (who wants to think of themselves as dummies?) the author, Steven Hickman, is keenly aware...

In this book, What Happy People Know , Dan Baker, the head of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch , offers useful information...

For the last year, every day at around 1pm, I would get a small visitor in my office. "Mommy," she would say, "can you have lunch with...

When was the last time something came along and fundamentally changed the way you thought about things? Give that question a minute - we...

In my last post, Meet Five of Your Accomplice Saboteurs , you were introduced to The Avoider, The Controller, and the three Hypers:...

In last week's post, The Judge in Your Head , I talked about the universal Saboteur that afflicts us all, the Judge. The Judge spends...

I woke up the other morning and my daughter was sick, which meant she was staying home from school. I work from home and had a four-hour...

Earlier this year I was in the hospital for a week with a double ear infection and meningitis. (If you're offered the opportunity to do...

In a world filled with constant change, the way you approach new opportunities can make all the difference. Your mindset impacts the way...

When I met my husband, I had no idea how bad I was a handling transitions. Every single time a season changes, I'm nostalgic for the one that's over. I get sad leaving my parents' house at the end of a visit. I spend the last day of vacation grouchy. And don't even talk to me about pre-k graduation. (So. Many. Kleenex.) So it's no surprise that, for me, the whole New Year New You thing doesn't resonate. I liked the old me and the old year. And what does this new year re