You may have heard a lot about having a growth mindset recently. It's good for business! It's good for parenting! It's good for...

For the last year, every day at around 1pm, I would get a small visitor in my office. "Mommy," she would say, "can you have lunch with...

When was the last time something came along and fundamentally changed the way you thought about things? Give that question a minute - we...

In my last post, Meet Five of Your Accomplice Saboteurs , you were introduced to The Avoider, The Controller, and the three Hypers:...

In last week's post, The Judge in Your Head , I talked about the universal Saboteur that afflicts us all, the Judge. The Judge spends...

I woke up the other morning and my daughter was sick, which meant she was staying home from school. I work from home and had a four-hour...

Earlier this year I was in the hospital for a week with a double ear infection and meningitis. (If you're offered the opportunity to do...

In a world filled with constant change, the way you approach new opportunities can make all the difference. Your mindset impacts the way...

A lot of my clients come to me knowing what's "wrong" with them, but not enough know what makes them amazing, different, unique, and valuable. If you're like my clients and want some help tapping into your special sauce, I recommend trying some online assessments. There are so many that help you determine your strengths, preferences, and internal awesomenesses, and knowing these things is so powerful when understanding and talking about yourself (especially in interviews).

Part of what I love about coaching is discovering and understanding different people's beliefs about the world around them, and how they view the mysterious and unknowable spaces associated with it. Some people call these spaces "god" or "a higher power," some "the universe," and some talk about it as the interconnectedness of humanity. (And some haven't given it a thought until we've talked.) Whatever you call it, I'm talking about the energy that is outside yourself, not

The other day, my preschool daughter stubbed her toe and had a meltdown -- not because of the pain of the toe stub, but because (and I quote), "I wish things I didn't want to happen couldn't happen." I'm with her! What a world it would be if things we didn't want to happen just couldn't happen! But while my husband and I try to teach her that there are things to be gained and even enjoyed by the mishaps and undesired situations in our lives, it reminded me of how often we,

Back when I was acting, I learned pretty early on that you never know why you didn't get a role. Maybe your audition sucked or you weren't thin enough. But maybe you were two inches taller than the man who was already cast. Or you were brunette and they wanted a blonde. Or the role was already tentatively filled by last year's intern. Or you looked too much like the director's ex-girlfriend and that would be too awkward. Or you were the director's ex-girlfriend... You

Psychologist Carl Jung is noted for teaching that the pieces of our selves that we can't accept are the very things that stick with us and plague us in different ways until we finally drop the resistance and accept them. What does this mean, and what can we do about it? First, think about the things in your life you can't accept or be with. These are things that drive you crazy (in yourself or others). For example, for a long time, I had trouble with "neediness." When my

When I’m in the grip of my saboteur, I should all over myself. It’s not pretty. Let me break that down a little. The saboteur is one of the voices in my head that just wants me to stay small and play it safe. It’s got a handful of really attractive techniques it uses to keep me small (fear, shame, comparison, derision, judgment – to name but a few) but shoulding is one of my favorites because it’s so subtle. Sometimes the saboteur feeds me one (or many) of the following l

I was sitting with a friend recently who was going on about how terrible her complexion was and how awful her varicose-veined leg looked and how the skin on her tummy has never been the same since the babies were born. And while I didn't care about pimples I couldn't see and a leg that looked just fine and a tummy that was always hidden behind clothing, I did feel terrible for my friend. She was suffering. And bringing a lot of that suffering on herself. I sat and listene

Back when I was dating, a friend of mine and I got into an argument over what to expect from men. She argued that it was better to expect men to be jerks and be surprised when they turned out to be sweet so that she wasn't disappointed. I argued that it was better to expect them to be kind and to be unpleasantly surprised when they were jerks. And for years, I went out with really sweet guys and she dated jerk after jerk after jerk. Now, was this because she had a penchant

When she was two, my daughter LOVED Taylor Swift. There were basically two songs on repeat at our house, Baby Shark (of course) and "Shake Shake Shake," as we called it. Now that she's older (and has a younger sister), our listening habits have changed, but Shake it Off still has a soft spot in my heart (that perhaps Baby Shark will never have). It also has an interesting place in my coaching practice. Think back to the last time you got stuck in a mood, ideally a grumpy o

I've been doing a lot of perspective work with my clients recently and it's been a good reminder that the way we see the world is just one possible way to see it and interpret it. I remember when I was in my 20s and acting, I went through a phase where I really felt like I was failing as an actor because I wasn't getting any roles that I liked. I was sucking at my auditions, I thought, and probably needed to lose weight and learn how to sing and dance. I believed that the w

Whenever I embark on something new -- working with a new client, a new freelance project, even trying a new schedule with my baby -- I hear a sneaky, unfriendly voice offering me sixteen different ways my new endeavor will fail. I recognize the voice; I've been hearing it for as long as I can remember. But it wasn't until I came to coaching that I understood what that voice is. It's my inner gremlin, my personal saboteur, my stuck-maker. Originally, that voice helped keep

A long time ago, I worked at a law firm as a technology trainer and I shared an office with the lovely gentleman who answered the Help Desk phone line. (No, he didn't just tell people to try turning it off and on again .) We were both in service roles and also happened to be two friendly people, so our coworkers often came to us when they had problems. They had a lot of problems. And after a while, it started to feel like our office was where you went when you wanted someon