Somewhere in our leadership journeys, many of us picked up the idea that good leaders are confident, have answers, make decisions, and stand by those decisions. And while doing those things can be great, there’s a leadership skill that runs alongside them and is often overlooked: The ability to change your mind. I’m not talking about flip-flopping or caving under pressure. I’m talking about changing your mind because you learned something new. I’ll say this first: If y

Your mindset is all about how you see and approach the world (and work, and your team, and your business challenges). There are all kinds of predefined mindsets you can have - fixed, growth, owner, rescuer, whatever - and they all impact what information you seek (and see), and how you interpret it. Done well, it's your greatest asset. But if you're not aware of and in control of your mindset, you're at the mercy of your daily emotions and reactions. And that's not strat

In her insightful book on women's sexuality, Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski addresses the complex emotions that can develop between two people in a relationship over time - the hard feelings that drive us apart from each other. These can span the gamut, but are mostly negative, often dramatic, and are harder to get past as they pile up while we hoard resentments and harsh feelings. If we have any hope of staying connected over time, we have to manage these feelings productiv

You may have heard a lot about having a growth mindset recently. It's good for business! It's good for parenting! It's good for...

Though the title feels less than compassionate (who wants to think of themselves as dummies?) the author, Steven Hickman, is keenly aware of the platform he has in the bestselling Dummies series to change the amount of self-compassion that's happening in a population that doesn't necessarily dive headlong into self-help. This book is a mix of stories, exercises, and meditations that help you appreciate three different components of self-compassion: Mindfulness - a stable, co

In this book, What Happy People Know, Dan Baker, the head of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch, offers useful information in an approachable and easily digestible fashion. According to Baker, there are six major happiness tools people can use: 1. Appreciation Baker offers practical tools to make appreciation not just part of your regular routine, but also part of your disaster recovery mode. For example, he shares one exercise called "Freeze Frame." When things are

For the last year, every day at around 1pm, I would get a small visitor in my office. "Mommy," she would say, "can you have lunch with...

When was the last time something came along and fundamentally changed the way you thought about things? Give that question a minute - we...

In my last post, Meet Five of Your Accomplice Saboteurs , you were introduced to The Avoider, The Controller, and the three Hypers:...

In last week's post, The Judge in Your Head , I talked about the universal Saboteur that afflicts us all, the Judge. The Judge spends...

I woke up the other morning and my daughter was sick, which meant she was staying home from school. I work from home and had a four-hour...

Earlier this year I was in the hospital for a week with a double ear infection and meningitis. (If you're offered the opportunity to do...

In a world filled with constant change, the way you approach new opportunities can make all the difference. Your mindset impacts the way...

A lot of my clients come to me knowing what's "wrong" with them, but not enough know what makes them amazing, different, unique, and valuable. If you're like my clients and want some help tapping into your special sauce, I recommend trying some online assessments. There are so many that help you determine your strengths, preferences, and internal awesomenesses, and knowing these things is so powerful when understanding and talking about yourself (especially in interviews).

Part of what I love about coaching is discovering and understanding different people's beliefs about the world around them, and how they view the mysterious and unknowable spaces associated with it. Some people call these spaces "god" or "a higher power," some "the universe," and some talk about it as the interconnectedness of humanity. (And some haven't given it a thought until we've talked.) Whatever you call it, I'm talking about the energy that is outside yourself, not

The other day, my preschool daughter stubbed her toe and had a meltdown -- not because of the pain of the toe stub, but because (and I quote), "I wish things I didn't want to happen couldn't happen." I'm with her! What a world it would be if things we didn't want to happen just couldn't happen! But while my husband and I try to teach her that there are things to be gained and even enjoyed by the mishaps and undesired situations in our lives, it reminded me of how often we,

Back when I was acting, I learned pretty early on that you never know why you didn't get a role. Maybe your audition sucked or you weren't thin enough. But maybe you were two inches taller than the man who was already cast. Or you were brunette and they wanted a blonde. Or the role was already tentatively filled by last year's intern. Or you looked too much like the director's ex-girlfriend and that would be too awkward. Or you were the director's ex-girlfriend... You

Psychologist Carl Jung is noted for teaching that the pieces of our selves that we can't accept are the very things that stick with us and plague us in different ways until we finally drop the resistance and accept them. What does this mean, and what can we do about it? First, think about the things in your life you can't accept or be with. These are things that drive you crazy (in yourself or others). For example, for a long time, I had trouble with "neediness." When my

Thanksgiving is approaching, and for many people, so is the stress and anxiety caused by being with family, feeling judged, trying to replicate traditions, or just generally having expectations that are difficult (if not impossible) to meet. It's funny that a day reserved for gratitude and thanks can end up being so fraught and unmanageable. So here are two things to think about as you tote your turkey from the trunk to the brine: 1) Examine Your Expectations Are you trying

When I’m in the grip of my saboteur, I should all over myself. It’s not pretty. Let me break that down a little. The saboteur is one of the voices in my head that just wants me to stay small and play it safe. It’s got a handful of really attractive techniques it uses to keep me small (fear, shame, comparison, derision, judgment – to name but a few) but shoulding is one of my favorites because it’s so subtle. Sometimes the saboteur feeds me one (or many) of the following l