Increasing Your Influence by Sharing Benefits

Before diving into this post, ask yourself: Where do you need to be more influential? Is it at work, with your manager, stakeholders, or direct reports? Is it at home, with your spouse, partner, or kids? Or is it in your community, with your friends, neighbors, or fellow members of an organization?

No matter where you need to be influential, it's important to know who you're trying to influence and what matters to them. You, like my father, may get all jazzed up about the potential of your idea, but if the people you're trying to influence care about concrete evidence or experience, all your passion for the idea won't matter. You, like me, may care about how your idea creates real, yet intangible, positive outcomes for others, but if the people you're trying to influence only care about metrics, you're going to get stuck.

Features vs. Benefits

With that in mind, a powerful way to enhance your influence is to focus on sharing the benefits of your idea/solution/proposal. I'm not talking about the features of your idea - its speed, affordability, or how many copies it can make in an hour - I'm talking about how your idea directly benefits the people you're trying to influence. Features are about what your idea will do; benefits explain its value. And value or worth only count if they're measured using what you (or the organization) care about.

Feature (what it does)	Benefit (why it matters)
The course includes interactive role plays and case studies.	You’ll practice real-world skills in a safe environment, so you’re ready to apply them immediately on the job.
The platform offers automated reporting dashboards.	You save hours on manual data collection and can make faster, better-informed decisions.
Donors receive monthly impact updates.	Supporters feel connected to their contributions and are more likely to give again.

Align with what they care about

Think of the last time someone tried to change your mind. Could you smell the self-orientation of the other person's idea a mile away? ("If I don't have to take a bath tonight, mommy, I promise I'll take one tomorrow without complaining." Mmm-hmmm, heard that one before.) Others often become defensive when they perceive your agenda or idea as self-serving. Demonstrating how your proposal aligns with others' interests builds an environment of trust.

For example, I used to work with a partner who wanted to represent HR in the meetings with the C-Suite. There were three of us at the same level, all of whom could have easily sat in on the meeting, but this partner proposed that she do it because she had the best relationship with the executives. There was nothing in it for us in her proposal. She didn't look at what we cared about -- protecting our team, getting buy-in for our key initiatives, or educating the C-Suite on our needs. We knew she wanted to hear all the gossip and employee complaints and to solidify her standing with that team. Self-interest all the way.

If you're familiar with the Trustworthiness equation from the Trusted Advisor Associates, you'll remember that your self-orientation is what undermines your credibility, reliability, and intimacy with a client. Same thing here.

Align with organizational goals and values

Some organizations have obvious goals and values (and some even paint them on the walls). In other organizations (like families and start-ups), the goals or values may not be as clearly or obviously defined (unless they truly are "Live, Laugh, Love!").

That said, if you're part of an organization, I would hope you'd be able to tap into what's been important lately, whether that's cost-cutting, renovating the gymnasium, or getting to bed on time. Sometimes we can use priorities and urgent projects to identify the bigger goals and values of the organization. (And if the goals or values aren't clear in the organization you're a part of, there's an opportunity to bring people closer together by discussing what's important. But that's for another post.)

Once you know what the company/family/synagogue/PTA/softball team is striving for and staying true to, you can share how your idea supports those goals and values.

For example, rather than saying, "My plan is the most streamlined," you could say, "If we use my idea, we'll be able to serve more customers in the same amount of time with less overage, connecting us to our values of Efficiency and Customer Service." Or, instead of saying, "Put your clothes away because I said so," you could reframe it as, "It's important in our family that we work together, and I'd really like your help getting your clothes put away."

So think back to the influence situation you identified when you started reading this post. What benefits are there for the people you are trying to influence? And how can you communicate them in a way that really resonates?

(Coaching can help you with this. Give me a call and we can work on it together!)