If you've been following this series for a couple of weeks now, you will have already identified your goals, written them the right way, prioritized them, and gotten pretty SMART already. The next step is to take your Big Picture Goals and break them down. But before we do that, I want to tell you the story of a real person I know who uses this technique impeccably. I have an old friend -- let's call him Frank (but that's not his name) -- who used to be a theatre director.

As I mentioned in an earlier post , not all goals need to be SMART. The Big Picture goals you use as North Stars don't need to be SMART, they need to be inspiring and exciting. But in order to get there -- to climb the mountain of your dreams -- you need to know where you'll be stopping along the way, and exactly what it will take to get you there. That's where the SMART goals come in. There are lots of different kinds of SMART out there, and mi There are lots of different

There are lots of ways to prioritize goals, but if you are operating by yourself (and not part of an organization or family that does goal-setting together), this is a simple way to identify what needs to happen first. I use three categories to think about and rank goals: Priority 1: Must Do These goals must be achieved if you are to consider yourself successful. These are your highest priority goals. Not every goal can be a Priority 1, and sometimes only certain Milestone g

You may think that writing a goal is the same as writing an email or anything else you write a thousand times a day. But it's not. Here are some tips for writing goals that stick with you, enable your mind to digest them, and are more likely to be achieved. Write them in the present tense . Which one sounds more like you'll be at the gym tonight -- "I want to go to the gym tonight" or "I'm going to the gym tonight"? They're essentially the same thing, but one has you alre

I like to look at three major categories of goals: Big Picture goals, Milestone goals, and Mini goals (or action steps). Each has its own components, qualities, and needs. Let's look at them one by one. Big Picture Goals These are the long-term goals that are not achievable in one step. They take time and effort and are likely made up of a series of smaller goals. If we think of goal setting like hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro, these are the mountain themselves. They are major

Not sure what goals you want to set, or what goals would make you happiest if you achieved them? The tools I share below will help you both come up with goals and align those goals with your wants, needs, and hopes. Tool 1: The Wheel of Life The eight sections in the Wheel of Life represent different aspects of your life, each of which is a potential place for a goal. Reflect on your level of satisfaction in each life area and then, thinking of the center as 0 and the oute

This is the first in a series of posts about goal setting that are tailor-made for 2022, the first year in the pandemic when we can really plan and set goals without being completely sideswiped by the mysteries and surprises of the pandemic. If you, like me, have taken a break from goal setting the last couple of years, now is a great time to get back to it. If you, also like me, don't particularly like setting goals, this series is for you. Let's take a quick look at where

Psychologist Carl Jung is noted for teaching that the pieces of our selves that we can't accept are the very things that stick with us and plague us in different ways until we finally drop the resistance and accept them. What does this mean, and what can we do about it? First, think about the things in your life you can't accept or be with. These are things that drive you crazy (in yourself or others). For example, for a long time, I had trouble with "neediness." When my

Thanksgiving is approaching, and for many people, so is the stress and anxiety caused by being with family, feeling judged, trying to replicate traditions, or just generally having expectations that are difficult (if not impossible) to meet. It's funny that a day reserved for gratitude and thanks can end up being so fraught and unmanageable. So here are two things to think about as you tote your turkey from the trunk to the brine: 1) Examine Your Expectations Are you trying

So many of my clients are overworked, perpetually busy, and burnt out. They're stuck on a hamster wheel and it's taking its toll. Day after day, the To Do list gets longer and the opportunity to relax gets pushed farther and farther away. "I'll relax when the kitchen is clean," says the mom of two boys. "I'll take a break when the presentation is perfect," says the junior employee. "I'll sleep in when I'm on vacation," says the overworked executive. Robert Holden, a coach,

When I’m in the grip of my saboteur, I should all over myself. It’s not pretty. Let me break that down a little. The saboteur is one of the voices in my head that just wants me to stay small and play it safe. It’s got a handful of really attractive techniques it uses to keep me small (fear, shame, comparison, derision, judgment – to name but a few) but shoulding is one of my favorites because it’s so subtle. Sometimes the saboteur feeds me one (or many) of the following l

I was sitting with a friend recently who was going on about how terrible her complexion was and how awful her varicose-veined leg looked and how the skin on her tummy has never been the same since the babies were born. And while I didn't care about pimples I couldn't see and a leg that looked just fine and a tummy that was always hidden behind clothing, I did feel terrible for my friend. She was suffering. And bringing a lot of that suffering on herself. I sat and listene

Back when I was dating, a friend of mine and I got into an argument over what to expect from men. She argued that it was better to expect men to be jerks and be surprised when they turned out to be sweet so that she wasn't disappointed. I argued that it was better to expect them to be kind and to be unpleasantly surprised when they were jerks. And for years, I went out with really sweet guys and she dated jerk after jerk after jerk. Now, was this because she had a penchant

When she was two, my daughter LOVED Taylor Swift. There were basically two songs on repeat at our house, Baby Shark (of course) and "Shake Shake Shake," as we called it. Now that she's older (and has a younger sister), our listening habits have changed, but Shake it Off still has a soft spot in my heart (that perhaps Baby Shark will never have). It also has an interesting place in my coaching practice. Think back to the last time you got stuck in a mood, ideally a grumpy o

I've been doing a lot of perspective work with my clients recently and it's been a good reminder that the way we see the world is just one possible way to see it and interpret it. I remember when I was in my 20s and acting, I went through a phase where I really felt like I was failing as an actor because I wasn't getting any roles that I liked. I was sucking at my auditions, I thought, and probably needed to lose weight and learn how to sing and dance. I believed that the w

One of the keys to living a life that's meaningful and fulfilling is to identify the guiding forces of your life, choose the ones that bring you the most joy or satisfaction, and then follow them as best you can. Your values run through everything you do -- your peak experiences and your lowest lows. They lift you up and connect you to your best, most wonderful self, and the violation of your values brings you frustration, disconnectedness, and dissatisfaction. But most o

Whenever I embark on something new -- working with a new client, a new freelance project, even trying a new schedule with my baby -- I hear a sneaky, unfriendly voice offering me sixteen different ways my new endeavor will fail. I recognize the voice; I've been hearing it for as long as I can remember. But it wasn't until I came to coaching that I understood what that voice is. It's my inner gremlin, my personal saboteur, my stuck-maker. Originally, that voice helped keep

A long time ago, I worked at a law firm as a technology trainer and I shared an office with the lovely gentleman who answered the Help Desk phone line. (No, he didn't just tell people to try turning it off and on again .) We were both in service roles and also happened to be two friendly people, so our coworkers often came to us when they had problems. They had a lot of problems. And after a while, it started to feel like our office was where you went when you wanted someon

Recommended reading for the self-help junkie in your life.

One thing I've always struggled with is borrowing trouble. Making mountains out of molehills. Playing the end of the act before the curtain even rises. I look for every way something could go wrong, every way I could mess something up, and then obsess about it... until it actually happens. Not because it was inevitable, but because I made it inevitable. I'm a bit of a Girl Scout; I like to be prepared for every possible outcome. In my purse at (almost) all times there a