If you're just tuning into this series, you might want to check out my previous posts on Physical Boundaries , Conversational Boundaries , and Material Boundaries , each of which covers the things you put in place to protect your body, your ears (and triggers), and your stuff. In this post, we'll be looking at one of the most important boundaries that exist for both work and life, time boundaries. Time Boundaries – To protect the use and misuse of your time Time boundaries t

In Seven Types of Boundaries at Work , we looked at the seven different kinds of boundaries you may need at work (good title, no?) and what physical boundaries are, and how to enforce them. Then, in Conversational Boundaries , we looked at what you can do when people repeatedly talk about things that make you uncomfortable. Today we'll dig into another kind of boundary you might experience at work, depending on what you do and where you do it -- material boundaries. Material

In my previous post, Seven Types of Boundaries at Work , I defined what boundaries are, how they can be helpful, and the seven different types you may need at work. Then we looked at physical boundaries in greater depth. Today we'll dig into another kind of boundary you'll likely experience at work -- conversational boundaries. Conversational Boundaries – To decide if and when a topic is discussable and for how long We have enough stress at work and don't need to add to it i

All too often, we forget to take care of ourselves at work. We do our best to treat our colleagues well and assume positive intent on their part, but every now and then, they don't have our best interests in mind. And, while it's a good idea to have boundaries in place whether your colleagues are intruding on them or not, it's especially important to do that when it starts to look like you're not being respected. What is a boundary? A boundary is a limit or space between yo

Many of my clients come to me because they're unhappy at work and don't know what they want to do next. Should they stay? Leave? Go after a promotion? Change to another department? Another field? Start their own business? I never tell them what to do -- how could I? But I do help them unpack a lot of baggage around work and investigate what's important to them, both at work and at home. The unpacking There are two big questions to kick off your unpacking: 1) What role

When I met my husband, I had no idea how bad I was a handling transitions. Every single time a season changes, I'm nostalgic for the one that's over. I get sad leaving my parents' house at the end of a visit. I spend the last day of vacation grouchy. And don't even talk to me about pre-k graduation. (So. Many. Kleenex.) So it's no surprise that, for me, the whole New Year New You thing doesn't resonate. I liked the old me and the old year. And what does this new year re

How do you know when what you're dealing with is burnout? How is it different from run-of-the-mill exhaustion or depression? And what are the signs to look for in others? Research shows that there are three main categories of burnout symptoms: exhaustion/overwhelm, cynicism, and inefficacy, (in addition to a number of physical symptoms, many of which are tied to mental symptoms). Let's take a look at what some of those symptoms look like and what to keep an eye out for if

I was trying to make a fairly small decision recently about whether I should volunteer at my daughter's school or not and found myself really struggling. If I chose not to do it, I would miss out on some really valuable time with my daughter, and the chance wouldn't come again. But if I chose to do it, I would have to take lots of time away from my work and stop taking on new clients, which is something I don't want to do right now. It wasn't a life-changing decision, but I

The first question I always ask when someone comes to me asking for training is, " does this situation require training, or are there better ways to solve the problem? " Sometimes what's needed is feedback, sometimes it's consequences. Sometimes it's coaching, and sometimes it's mentoring. There are lots of ways to address problematic performance, and training is only one of them. But how do you know what to use when? Let's look at a few examples, and I'll show you what I

A lot of my clients come to me knowing what's "wrong" with them, but not enough know what makes them amazing, different, unique, and valuable. If you're like my clients and want some help tapping into your special sauce, I recommend trying some online assessments. There are so many that help you determine your strengths, preferences, and internal awesomenesses, and knowing these things is so powerful when understanding and talking about yourself (especially in interviews).

Part of what I love about coaching is discovering and understanding different people's beliefs about the world around them, and how they view the mysterious and unknowable spaces associated with it. Some people call these spaces "god" or "a higher power," some "the universe," and some talk about it as the interconnectedness of humanity. (And some haven't given it a thought until we've talked.) Whatever you call it, I'm talking about the energy that is outside yourself, not

The other day, my preschool daughter stubbed her toe and had a meltdown -- not because of the pain of the toe stub, but because (and I quote), "I wish things I didn't want to happen couldn't happen." I'm with her! What a world it would be if things we didn't want to happen just couldn't happen! But while my husband and I try to teach her that there are things to be gained and even enjoyed by the mishaps and undesired situations in our lives, it reminded me of how often we,

Back when I was acting, I learned pretty early on that you never know why you didn't get a role. Maybe your audition sucked or you weren't thin enough. But maybe you were two inches taller than the man who was already cast. Or you were brunette and they wanted a blonde. Or the role was already tentatively filled by last year's intern. Or you looked too much like the director's ex-girlfriend and that would be too awkward. Or you were the director's ex-girlfriend... You

Achieving goals requires focus, energy, and willpower. But all of those are resources that can be easily depleted, and if you don't have the skills to renew them, you can be caught empty-handed when you most need some support. In their deeply enjoyable book Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success , the brilliant collection of authors lay out two things to consider as you're looking to make a change -- your motivation and your ability. That is, do you WANT to ch

You've written your goals (SMARTly, of course) and you're ready to go. Before you drive off into the sunset in pursuit of your goals, though, it's a good idea to get clear on some of the things that could crop up along the way and keep you from your destination. Planning for obstacles helps you in moments of crisis. When you anticipate some of the things that could come up and make a plan for how to handle them, you've got something to rely on in the moment. Spend some time

If you've been following this series for a couple of weeks now, you will have already identified your goals, written them the right way, prioritized them, and gotten pretty SMART already. The next step is to take your Big Picture Goals and break them down. But before we do that, I want to tell you the story of a real person I know who uses this technique impeccably. I have an old friend -- let's call him Frank (but that's not his name) -- who used to be a theatre director.

As I mentioned in an earlier post , not all goals need to be SMART. The Big Picture goals you use as North Stars don't need to be SMART, they need to be inspiring and exciting. But in order to get there -- to climb the mountain of your dreams -- you need to know where you'll be stopping along the way, and exactly what it will take to get you there. That's where the SMART goals come in. There are lots of different kinds of SMART out there, and mi There are lots of different

There are lots of ways to prioritize goals, but if you are operating by yourself (and not part of an organization or family that does goal-setting together), this is a simple way to identify what needs to happen first. I use three categories to think about and rank goals: Priority 1: Must Do These goals must be achieved if you are to consider yourself successful. These are your highest priority goals. Not every goal can be a Priority 1, and sometimes only certain Milestone g

You may think that writing a goal is the same as writing an email or anything else you write a thousand times a day. But it's not. Here are some tips for writing goals that stick with you, enable your mind to digest them, and are more likely to be achieved. Write them in the present tense . Which one sounds more like you'll be at the gym tonight -- "I want to go to the gym tonight" or "I'm going to the gym tonight"? They're essentially the same thing, but one has you alre

I like to look at three major categories of goals: Big Picture goals, Milestone goals, and Mini goals (or action steps). Each has its own components, qualities, and needs. Let's look at them one by one. Big Picture Goals These are the long-term goals that are not achievable in one step. They take time and effort and are likely made up of a series of smaller goals. If we think of goal setting like hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro, these are the mountain themselves. They are major