Trust Isn’t Promised, It’s Produced

Every year on my birthday, my mother tells me the story of Mrs. Jordan, the babysitter she arranged with to take care of my two-year-old sister when my mom went into labor with me.

Every time my mom talked to her, she swore up and down that she would be there. "Anytime, day or night," she said, "just call me." And so, when I decided to come on a cold December night, my mom reached out to Mrs. Jordan and said, "It's time!"

Mrs. Jordan (predictably) said, "Oh, honey, I can't tonight!"

How many people (or vendors or organizations) have let you down with promises they haven't fulfilled? And how many people (or vendors or organizations) have slowly and steadily built trust with you by delivering what you want, when you want it, without too much fuss?

Trust comes with results. When you do what you say you're going to do time after time after time. Once is good; many times is better. And you can see this in just about every model of trust that's out there:

The Trusted Advisor's Trust Equation calls results "Reliability" because you can be counted on to deliver the right results repeatedly.

Steven M. R. Covey's Speed of Trust model has 13 key trust-building behaviors, and "Produce Results" is in there.

Ken Blanchard's ABCD model has results across "Able" and "Dependable."

So how do you deliver results consistently, especially if you feel like you're set up to fail or not getting what you need from others to be able to deliver consistently?

First, make sure you've clarified what, exactly, needs to be delivered. Get an example or sample of good work, if possible. Ask as many questions as you can up front so you understand the details, big picture, and everything in between. Don't walk away from the assignment until it's as clear to you as it can possibly be. (And double- or triple-check your assumptions, because that's where we often fall apart.)

If the person requesting your output doesn't know what "good" or "done" looks like, try to get them to admit or articulate that. (Don't be a jerk about it, but do say something like, "Just so we're on the same page, there's some fuzziness or lack of clarity around exactly what this should look like." If they disagree, then get more details from them about what they want.)

Then address the three-legged stool of time, quality, and cost by asking about timeframes and expectations. If they want a massive amount of work in a short amount of time, ask if there's additional budget to bring on help. If they want something done quickly and cheaply, ask if you can make a draft instead of a final project. If they want something of quality for no budget, ask if you can have more time to get it done.

We often assume we have to maximize all three variables at once, which does set us up for failure. Negotiate any wiggle room up front and make sure you understand ALL the measures of success for a given project.

Then assess your current workload. What's possible and what's impossible? When you can, try to build in a buffer between when you think you can realistically get something done and when the other person wants it done. It's far better to underpromise and overdeliver than vice versa. If delivering what they want when they want it is impossible, consider sharing with them what's on your plate (as appropriate, obviously) and getting advice or support around how to prioritize the work.

And then seek support. Are there people on your team who can help you? Do you have too many priorities and have difficulty sorting out what's urgent and important? Could coaching be useful for you in getting through this situation?

And then work. Execute. Complete. Follow through. Cross your t's and dot your i's. Hold others accountable to deliver to you what you need so you can complete your work. Waiting on someone else to get you the numbers you need is not a satisfying reason you weren't able to get something done.

A word of caution, though:

Watch out for delivering action and activity rather than results. "We made a lot of progress on this" is good, but "we finished it" is even better. Lots of leaders (and organizations) over-emphasize effort and action rather than results. To build trust, you have to deliver 100% of what was promised, not just "we tried."